


We're Walking The Tightope (Never Know How Far We Could Fall)

by guitarist17



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 23:11:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17969840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guitarist17/pseuds/guitarist17
Summary: Chloe is excited about going to her first circus show.Or: The one where Beca can definitely do it better.





	We're Walking The Tightope (Never Know How Far We Could Fall)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy :)

**11 years old**

 

“Chloe, slow down sweetheart.”

 

The girl turns her head to see her parents and older sister's amused faces a few feet away from her as she drags her little sister towards a big entrance.

 

“But we're going to be late,” she pouts, Emily nodding in agreement as their parents and sister reach them.

 

“We won't, I promise,” her father reassures her, grabbing her hand to prevent the girls to get a head start again.

 

Sighing with impatience Chloe allows her excited bright eyes to fall on the big red circus tent facing her. She knows the traveling circus is only here for one day, and she wouldn't miss the show for the world.

 

“I'm so excited,” she offers a big smile to her father as they wait in line to buy their tickets.

 

“Me too,” her little sister squeals, making her family laugh.

 

Since a circus came in town last year and all of her friends went to see the show but her for she was out of town that day Chloe has been dying to go to a circus show.

 

“It's my first circus show!” she tells the cashier as he hands her the precious ticket.

 

“Me too!” a little voice cheeps behind her.

 

"Well, we come here every year, so if you like it you can always come back next year," the cahier grins at them, handing them their tickets and wishing them a good show.

 

“The tightrope walker performance is the best,” Alice says, smiling fondly at her two overexcited little sisters as they look at their surroundings with big eyes when the family finally enters the tent.

 

“Yeah?” Chloe wonders, eyes  still roaming the place as they easily find their seats. “Aubrey told me the jugglers are the best.”

 

“Well, time to make your own opinion,” the oldest sister whispers as the lights get dimmed just as they sit.

 

“Told you we wouldn't be late...” her father jokes in a whisper only to be shushed by the four members of his family.

 

During the whole show Chloe watches fire breathers, horses and dogs dance and look more gracious than any animal she's ever seen, jugglers and other clowns and acrobats, with sparkles never leaving her eyes.

 

When a deep voice finally announces the next number as the tightrope walker, Alice playfully elbows her.

 

“Get ready for the greatness little sis',” she murmurs.

 

“The dog performance is going to be hard to replace as my favorite though,” Chloe whispers back as a young woman greets the crowd before settling on the rope and starting her number.

 

Chloe does not want to admit it immediately, but her sister is right. The young woman is really impressive as she does one acrobatic after another, never losing her balance.

 

“Wow… That was sick...” she can't help but murmur as the woman does two backward somersaults as if it was the most easiest thing in the world.

 

“I can do it better.”

 

Chloe jumps at the phrase whispered in her ear. Turning around with her heart beating a thousand miles an hour she comes face to face with a girl, around her age she guesses, who is still staring at the performance with focused blue eyes, not embarrassed after scaring a stranger.

 

“No you can't,” Chloe scoffs, turning around again to enjoy the show while shaking her head.

 

“Of course I can,” she hears the girl protest but Chloe decides to ignore her.

 

Just as she begins to forget about the stranger she feels a presence besides her. When she looks sideways she notices that the girl is now sitting next to her in the staircase. Looking down she meets blue eyes for the first time, the girl tilting her head in a silent question.

 

“You don't believe me?” the girl asks after a moment and Chloe fights the urge to roll her eyes, her mother's voice telling her that “It's not polite young lady” in her head.

 

“I don't,” she simply says, avoiding the girl's curious eyes to try and catch the end of the performance.

 

The girl seems to focus on the performance too and Chloe's shoulders relax.

 

“Why?” the lazy voice comes to her ears again after a minute.

 

“What?” she asks, her older sister shushing her, annoyed. “What?” she breathes this time.

 

“Why don't you believe me?” the girl wonders, her eyes traveling on Chloe's face as though she was studying every detail without being embarrassed by her staring at all.

 

“How would you know how to do that?” Chloe chuckles, pointing as the young woman does another somersault on the rope.

 

“Because I train with her,” the girl responds like it is the most obvious thing in the world, mirroring Chloe's hand as she points to the acrobat too.

 

When the only response she gets is a deep confused frown the girl explains herself.

 

“That's my sister, she's teaching me how to do stuff so I can have my own number someday.”

 

Blinking a few times between the girl and her supposed sister Chloe tries to decide if she is telling the truth or not.

 

“My whole family works here. It's my home,” the girl continues, gesturing to the tent not letting Chloe the time to contradict her.

 

“For real?” the redhead eventually whispers, as she watches the pale girl look around with so much love swimming in her eyes that she knows she can't be lying.

 

As if on cue a circus employee kneels besides the blue-eyed girl and whispers in her ear just loud enough for Chloe to hear.

 

“Your mother is looking for you everywhere,” he tells her urgently. “They need you backstage.”

 

“But I'm talking t-” the girl tries to protest.

 

“Right now,” the employee cuts her, standing up.

 

The girl's eyes travel between Chloe and the young man, disappointment filling her light orbs, when a smirk suddenly appears on her face.

 

“I'll come if you bring me popcorn,” she says nonchalantly, crossing her arms to show him that she's not going anywhere, making Chloe try to hide a chuckle in a fake cough.

 

“Come on, we don't have time for that,” the young employee whines, apparently used to demands like this. “You can get some on the way.”

 

“Nope. The faster you bring me some, the faster I'll go see my mother.”

 

Loud applauses make Chloe jump in surprise and when she takes her eyes off the exchange she sees the acrobat taking a bow. She quickly joins the crowd in the standing ovation, clapping her hands as loud as she can and chuckling as her father yells 'bravo' from the top of his lungs.

 

“Told you it was the best,” Alice laughs when the acrobat leaves, the crowd still applauding.

 

Chloe is about to reply when a gentle tap on her shoulder makes her turn around.

 

“So you liked my sister's performance?” the girl asks, a bag of popcorn in her hand.

 

“Yes, she's amazing,” Chloe does not hesitate to reply and the young stranger's smile widen, giving Chloe no choice but to grin back.

 

“Cool, I'll tell her.”

 

“Beca we've gotta go now,” the employee says, clearly irritated as he tugs on _Beca's_ t-shirt.

 

“I have to help my mother get ready,” Beca says apologetically. “But maybe I'll see you later.”

 

“Okay,” Chloe nods.

 

“Oh, this is for you by the way,” Beca hands her the bag of popcorn.

 

Chloe just has the time to mutter a quick thank you that Beca is already making her way toward the exit. Blue eyes follow the little girl until she reaches the entrance of the tent and Chloe is rewarded by a big smile and a wave when Beca turns around one last time.

 

The next artist enters the circus ring and the applauses make Chloe turn her head. When she looks back again to catch one last glimpse of Beca she is disappointed to find the young employee standing alone without the girl.

 

Sighing she settles in her seat again, not really paying attention to what is going on in front of her as she replays her weird encounter with the circus girl.

 

“I like the circus,” she whispers as her sister steals popcorn from her bag.

 

“Yup me too.”

 

*

 

“Our little girl already gets someone to give her free popcorn at 11, I don't want to imagine what it's going to be like when she can go to bars,” Mark giggles, looking into his rear-view mirror to see his three daughters fast asleep on the back seat, one of them clutching an empty popcorn bag against her chest.

 

“I don't want to think about it,” his wife laughs. “Please, just drive.”

 

******

**12  years old**

 

“I can't believe Emily managed to make us come back here...”

 

Chloe chuckles at Alice's whine, playfully elbowing her as Emily brushes the remark with a shrug.

 

"What? I thought you liked the circus?" she laughs and her sister rolls her eyes.

 

"I'm too old for that shi-"

 

"Alice, language please," their mother warns, frowning disapprovingly at her daughter while Mark hands them their tickets.

 

"Come on Al, we had fun last year," he tries to cheer her up. "I'll buy you some popcorn if it makes you feel better," Mark offers as the family walks through the big entrance.

 

"Don't bother, Chloe's girlfriend is going to bring us some anyway," Alice snickers, earning a pinch on her shoulder from Chloe.

 

"She's not my girlfriend. I don't even know her..." she defends herself sheepishly feeling her cheeks reddening.

 

"Is that why you kept the popcorn b-" Alice isn't able to finish her phrase as Chloe slams her hand on her mouth.

 

"Stop annoying you sister Al, and take a seat," their mother sighs, used to their constant bickering.

 

They make Emily sit between the two older sisters to avoid any more shenanigans and once again Chloe finds herself seated at the end of the row next to the staircase.

 

The show is pretty much the same except for a few numbers, but is nonetheless impressive and captivating.

 

Chloe claps joyfully when dogs enters the circus ring and snickers when her older sister appears to be as excited as she is for this number. Her mother's eyes stop her from making a sly comment and she refocuses her attention on the show with a slight pout on her lips. She laughs along the crowd as the dogs do all sort of acrobatics and tricks, but too soon for her liking the number is over and the pout is back on her lips.

 

"Do you want to see the dogs?"

 

Her hands fly to her mouth to stop her from screaming as her heart rate skyrockets at the whispered phrase in her ear. Turning around she meets two innocent blue irises looking at her questioningly.

 

"You really have to stop doing that..." Chloe eventually murmurs, her heart settling down at the sight of the girl who is obviously trying to stop herself from grinning.

 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she apologizes, scratching the back of her neck.

 

"It's alright," Chloe smiles, feeling her heart beat quickening again for no apparent reason.

 

"So, do you want to see them?" Beca asks again, standing.

 

"See what?" Chloe frowns in confusion and feels her cheeks heating up when Beca softly laughs at her question.

 

"The dogs. I can take you backstage if you want to meet them," the blue-eyed girls explains, pointing to the exit with her thumb.

 

"Oh! Yes, let me just ask my parents." Turning her head she finds her family engrossed in whatever number is going on in front of them, not paying attention to her at all. "Never mind, let's go."

 

With a small grin Beca takes her hand without hesitation and guides her toward the exit. When they are finally outside she lets go of Chloe's hand and the blue-eyed girl frowns as coldness replaces the warmth of Beca's skin.

 

"I never got to ask for your name," Beca says playfully as they walk around the red tent.

 

"I'm Chloe," she replies simply, looking around her in disbelief as they walk pass the artists she has just seen moments before.

 

"Nice to meet you Chloe, I'm Beca," the girl says simply, pushing the tent aside to let Chloe enter.

 

"I know," Chloe chuckles. "I remember the guy calling you when he came to get you last time."

 

"Oh that's right. Did you like the popcorn?" Beca wonders playfully.

 

"Loved it. Thanks again by the way," Chloe says, still looking around as people rush pass them to prepare the next numbers.

 

"Can you wait here? I've just got to talk to Jesse real quick," the pale girl asks, already walking backward toward a young man that Chloe recognizes at the dogs trainer.

 

"No problem," Chloe replies, taking the opportunity to really look around as Beca talks to the young trainer. "Emily and Alice will never believe that I went backstage..." she mutters to herself.

 

Beca comes back quickly and leads them outside, making her way between artists and trailers.

 

"Jesse took them to his trailer, he told me it was okay to go in," she explains, stopping at a trailer and opening the door for Chloe.

 

She just has the time to step in that three dogs are greeting her happily, making her giggle with delight as Beca closes the door of the large trailer behind them.

 

"So, this is Gus, this is Bella and finally this is Akela," Beca says, pointing to the dogs one after another.

 

"They are so cute! Hi guys, I'm Chloe," the redhead coos adoringly as they seat on the floor to pet the dogs.

 

"You really seem to like dogs," Beca wonders out loud as Gus sits on her legs for more caresses.

 

"Yes, I love them. They are my favorite," Chloe replies, laughing when Akela tries to lick her face.

 

"I  saw you enter the tent with you family earlier but my mother wouldn't let me go. I looked for you after but I only spotted you during Jesse's number. At first I just came to say hello but when I saw your reactions I knew that I had to take you to meet the dogs," Beca explains with a shrug, smiling lightly as she remembers the big smile on Chloe's face.

 

"Well, these guys are really talented, how am I supposed to stay impassible?" Chloe chuckles along Beca, not embarrassed by her passion for the animals.

 

Chloe doesn't know for how long they stay in the trailer, petting the dogs and talking animatedly. Even though she has just learned basic things, like how they are the same age, or the names of Beca's sibling, or how the blue-eyed girl is homeschooled and travels the country during most part of the year, she feels like she has known Beca her all life for how comfortable she is around her.

 

They share funny stories and asks silly questions, going from their favorite color to their least favorite Disney characters. Many times, Chloe has to stop Beca as she stoically tells a story because her stomach hurts from how hard she is laughing.

 

She finds out quickly that Beca's laugh (although pretty rare) is the purest sound she has ever heard and that her eyes crinkles on the corner when she thinks something is funny. And in return Beca tells her out of nowhere and without a ounce of shame though a bit awkwardly that she has never seen eyes as beautiful as Chloe's and that her jokes are the lamest but probably the funniest she's heard.

 

Chloe knows that Beca will be gone tomorrow and that they've only known each other for a few hours but she already feels connected to the circus girl. She had heard her parents talk one time at a wedding about how you can meet someone and immediately bond with them, as weird as it can appear. She doesn't really remember what they said next for she had tuned out their boring grown-up conversation, but now she guesses that Beca is this person for her.

 

They are so focused on each other that they don't hear the trailer door opening, and just as a voice interrupts them their bubbles is burst.

 

"Hum Beca, your mother is looking for you. There are people at the gate asking if we've seen a Chloe..." the young trainer that Beca introduced as Jesse softly tells them. "I guess they're looking for you?" Jesse asks Chloe.

 

"Crap!" Chloe stands up quickly. "Have they been looking for a long time?" she asks, petting the dogs goodbye before following Jesse outside.

 

"Well, the show's been over for more than half an hour so..." Danny trails. "But they've only asked me if I saw you a few minutes ago. I would have told them that you were with Beca if someone had asked me earlier. You should have told your mother you were with a friend Becaw... I think she's going to be pissed," Jesse chuckles as they walk along the red tent.

 

"Meh, I'm used to it," Beca shrugs. "I'm sorry if you are in trouble though..." she genuinely apologizes to Chloe, nervously scratching the back of her neck.

 

"It's okay," Chloe chuckles, grabbing Beca's hand to stop her movement. "I had a lot of fun with you."

 

"I had a lot of fun with you too..." Beca shyly smiles back to Chloe, the blue-eyed girl spotting the pink coloring her cheeks when she squeezes her hand before letting go.

 

"Here they are," Jesse announces, stopping to point at Chloe parents behind the gate. "I think you should stay here if you don't want to face your mother's wrath just yet Becaw," Jesse smirks down at Beca.

 

"Yeah..." the blue-eyed girl sighs. "Well... I guess I'll see you next year?" she asks hopefully, her eyes travelling on Chloe's face.

 

"You definitely will, " Chloe sighs back. "Bye Becs," she smiles sadly.

 

"Bye Chloe," Beca returns the sad expression, waving until Chloe turns around.

 

The redhead walks toward her parents and sighs in anticipation when she sees the scowls on their faces as she approaches.

 

"You're in trouble young lady," she hears her father says and she gulps audibly.

 

They are only a few feet between them when she feels two arms wrap themselves around her and squeeze her tightly. She just has the time to place her hands on Beca's that the girl is already letting her go.

 

Chloe turns around to see the girl running backward with a goofy smile on her face.

 

Once again a sigh escapes her lips but this time it's a sigh of contentment. When she turns back to face her parents' unhappy faces she can only think of one thing.

 

It was worth it.

 

******

**13 years old**

 

"I don't want to go..." Emily whines, buckling her seatbelt.

 

"Me neither..." two whines follow her phrase.

 

Mark looks into his rear-view mirror only to see three similar pouts and three pairs of eyes pleading him.

 

"Come on girls, it's just for dinner," Linda says as her husband starts the car.

 

"But we don't like dinning with the Smiths..." Chloe breathes dejectedly, leaning to rest her head against the car window.

 

"Yeah, their sons are always mean to us," Alice grumbles, earning sighs from both their parents.

 

"But you like Jane and Henry, you've always liked them," Mark tries to cheer them up, stopping at a red light.

 

"Yeah, but their sons are always mean to us," Alice repeats stubbornly, making Chloe chuckles as she lets her eyes get lost in the passing streets.

 

"Well, don't talk to them unless you really have to and you'll be fine," Linda finally concedes, smiling gently at her daughters in the mirror.

 

The three young Beale sighs in unison at the perspective of a long night and Chloe refocuses her attention on the moving world behind her window.

 

In the distance a red tent catches her attention and her stomach drops.

 

"The Mitchell Circus is in town tonight?" she asks, surprise and deception laced in her tone as she turns to her parents.

 

"Yeah, didn't you see the boards?" Mark wonders, not catching the sadness filling his daughter's eyes.

 

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks again, turning  back to catch one last glimpse of the big tent.

 

"Well, you and Alice didn't seem too excited about going last year, so we guessed you wouldn't care about it. And you didn't talk about it at all so I just assumed you didn't want to go," Linda says, frowning in confusion as she watches her daughter slump back in her seat dejectedly.

 

"But I promised Beca I would go..." she whispers sadly, fidgeting with her seatbelt to focus on something else than the tears threatening to fill her eyes.

 

"Who's Be- Oh is that your friend from last year?" Linda wonders, finally catching up. She exchanges a guilty look with her husband when Chloe slightly nods, avoiding their eyes. "I'm so sorry sweetheart, I completely forgot about it."

 

Silence fills the car and Alice discreetly reaches out to squeeze Chloe's hand. When the red-headed  doesn't respond to her Linda turns into her seat to meet her daughter's sad blue eyes.

 

"You'll go next year. I'm sure Beca will understand, don't worry."

 

******

 

**14 years old**

 

"So, what do you want to do tonight guys?" Aubrey asks as they walk along the sunny streets with their group of friends.

 

"I don't know..." Bumper shrugs, looking at his girlfriend to see if she has an idea.

 

"Don't look at me!" Amy laughs when she lifts her eyes from Lily's phone after the teenage girl showed her kind of weird meme.

 

"We could go to the movies, I heard there is a pretty good horror movie on," Lily offers, putting her arms around Chloe and Aubrey's shoulders as they enter the city square where a big tent takes most of the place.

 

"Maybe we could check the circus?" Chloe wonders quietly, catching Aubrey's gaze.

 

Quickly understanding her best friend without exchanging a word Aubrey agrees.

 

"Yeah, that could be fun," she smiles, looking at their friends to gauge their reactions.

 

"I don't really like circus shows..." Amy admits with a grimace.

 

"Yeah, clowns scare the crap out of me," Lily laughs, proceeding in imitating a clown's laugh and running after Bumper like a psychopath.

 

"Circus shows are kind of for children," Bumper says as Lily jumps on his back, pretending to strangle him.

 

"Is it okay if we do something else?" Amy asks them, pulling Lily back down to take her place on Bumper's back.

 

Aubrey guiltily bites her lips, searching Chloe's eyes to see if she wanted her to say something.

 

"Yeah it's okay," Chloe says with a shrug and a fake smile on her lips. "But let's grab something to eat before we go to the movies, I'm starving."

 

Bumper excitedly claps his hand as they start to walk again toward their favorite place.

 

"I'm sorry Chloe..." Aubrey murmurs once their friends are focused on trying to make Amy fall of Bumper, squeezing her arms in a comforting gesture.

 

"It's alright..." Chloe smiles down at her blonde friend. "I'm not even sure if she remembers me anyway."

 

The both look back at the red tent and when Aubrey hears her best friend almost inaudible sigh she elbows her playfully.

 

"Come on, let's catch up with those goofballs before they hurt themselves," she jokes, finally earning a real smile from Chloe as they watch Amy fall on top of Lily and Bumper.

 

"I think it's too late..."

 

*

 

In the distance, blue eyes darken as they watch the group of friends turns around from the tent and walk in the opposite direction.

 

A small sigh escapes pink lips before a smile splits them again as a ticket gets ripped.

 

"Thank you sir, enjoy the show."

 

******

 

**15 years old**

 

"And then Ms Bennett asked him to leave the class and I almost died laughing with Peter because his face was just priceless. He tried to tell her that- Are you listening to me?"

 

Chloe snaps out of her trance turning back in her seat to face the driver.

 

"I'm sorry Tom, I was in my thoughts. What were you saying?" she asks, trying to concentrate on her interlocutor rather than her window.

 

"It's okay babe, it wasn't important anyway. What were you thinking about?" the teenage boy wonders, letting his hand slide on her knee.

 

"Just... The circus is in town tonight. I went to the show when I was younger and I was just remembering it," she explains, taking his hand in hers like she's done a hundred times.

 

"Do you want to go?" he asks, taking his eyes of the road for her second to meet Chloe's.

 

"No no, this your night! We're celebrating your seventeenth birthday and your brand new yellow car," Chloe chuckles, ruffling her boyfriend's dark hair.

 

"Laugh all you want, at least _I_ can drive and _I_ have a car," Tom sticks it's tongue childishly, scrunching his nose.

 

"Well, if you wanted to date someone who could drive you should have asked someone older out, not me," Chloe smirks.

 

"Nah, it doesn't bother me to drive you around," Tom shrugs, taking advantage of the red light to peck Chloe's lips. "I'm glad your parents allowed you to go out tonight."

 

"Yeah me too," the red-headed girl smiles genuinely.

 

"What are they doing tonight?" Tom asks, entering the parking lot of a restaurant.

 

"Taking my little cousin to the circus."

 

*

 

"Dude check out that yellow car! I would never drive that, people would think I'm a taxi or something."

 

Beca turns around just in time to catch a glimpse of the car, laughing along her friend.

 

"Well at least they have a car. You can't say the same," she chuckles with a playful wink.

 

"Neither can you smartass," her friend sticks her tongue out.

 

"Real mature Conrad..." Beca breathes, rolling her eyes.

 

"Shut up and smile," Stacie murmurs back before offering a big smile to a man, a woman and a young boy approaching them. "Good evening. Enjoy the show."

 

"I think I've seen them somewhere..." Beca ponders out loud once they are out of earshot, following the three with her eyes until Stacie's chuckle makes her turn around.

 

"We see hundreds of people every day Becs, they're probably looking like someone you saw last night."

 

"Yeah, you're probably right."

 

 

******

 

**16 years old**

 

 

"You can't be serious right now Alice?" Chloe groans in her phone.

 

" _I'm sorry okay? It's not like I planned on bailing on you, this is just taking more time than I thought..._ " Alice grumbles on the other end.

 

"But Emily is with Mom and Dad, I don't know if I can do this on my own..." Chloe breathes, bringing her fingers to her forehead where she feels a migraine coming.

 

" _Don't stress so much, our baby cousin is an actual angel_ ," her sister reassures her.

 

"I've never babysat on my own-"

 

" _You're_ _going to have a great time. Don't worry too much sis_ ," Alice cuts her off before she can over think. " _Listen, I really have to go. Just call or text me if you have any question, I'll have my phone with me._ "

 

"Okay... I'm not forgiving you for bailing on us though," Chloe smirks, hearing her sister's laugh on the other end.

 

" _Love you too Chlo_."

 

With that Alice hangs up, leaving Chloe alone with a six year-old sitting on her lap.

 

"So Alice's coming?" he asks, putting down his dinosaur toy when he sees Chloe pocketing her phone.

 

"She's not buddy, I'm sorry. She hasn't finished what she needed to do today. It's just you and me this time," Chloe explains, ruffling his brown hair.

 

"S'okay, I like when we play together," her cousin shrugs. "Do you want to play with my dinosaurs?"  he wonders, hope and excitement filling his eyes.

 

"I'd love too !" Chloe grins, tickling the boy before grabbing a plastic dinosaur.

 

Maybe she got this after all.

 

*

 

"Do you want to go outside for a bit Lee?" Chloe asks when she notices the boy getting bored of their game.

 

"Yes," he nods excitedly, dropping his toys on the floor.

 

"Do you have something in mind? Like, do you want to go to the park? Or to the beach maybe?" the redhead offers, studying the serious face of her little cousin. She tries not to chuckle or take a picture when he taps his chin, a small frown above his bright eyes.

 

"I know!" he suddenly squeals. "Can we go to the circus please?"

 

"The what now?" It is Chloe's turn to frown, but this time in confusion.

 

"Aunt Linda and Uncle Mark took me last year, and we had loooots of fun," he explains, toying with Chloe's sleeve.

 

"I know buddy, but the circus is only here for a day every year. They aren't here every day," Chloe smiles sadly at the boy.

 

"Oh I know, it's today. I saw it this morning with my Mom," he answers with a toothy grin.

 

"Okay, let me just check for a second," Chloe tells him, grabbing her phone and typing swiftly for a few seconds. "You're right, it is today. Do you really want to go?"

 

"Yes please!"

 

Not resisting her little cousin's puppy eyes Chloe looks back at her phone for a few seconds.

 

"There is a show in an hour. We can make it if we go now, grab your shoes bud'."

 

The squeal of excitement which fills the room can only make her laugh out loud.

 

*

 

"That's our seats Char'," Chloe tells the boy.

 

She chuckles to herself at the boy's obvious excitement and takes her phone out to take a picture.

 

"Look at me buddy, I'm sending a picture to your Mom and Dad," she says, laughing when her cousin grins as wide as he can for the picture. She smiles down adoringly at the shot as she sends it to her aunt and uncle, recognizing the sparkles that once filled her eyes in her little cousin's.

 

"It's starting Chloe!" the boy whispers, finding Chloe's hand when the lights get dimmed.

 

Chloe watches the show distractedly, more occupied by starring at her little cousin and his hilarious reactions. She recognizes a few numbers, including the rope walker, and the memory of soft blue eyes comes back to her mind. The thought is quickly pushed away as her cousin lets out the smallest squeal when he sees dogs entering the circus ring.

 

**_Going to the circus is ten times more fun with this one_ **

She texts her sisters with a picture of their cousin. She is busy replying to Emily and misses the end of the dogs number as well as the beginning of the next number.

 

When she finally lifts up her eyes she almost lets her phone slips out of her hands.

 

A familiar smile and blue eyes face her from the middle of the circus ring, leaving Chloe speechless as the teenage girl takes place on a rope.

 

"It's the same number as earlier but this girl has a soccer ball," Chloe's cousin whispers, admiration clear in his voice.

 

Chloe does not reply, too mesmerized as the familiar figure walks along the rope, juggling the ball with different parts of her body and doing impressive tricks as well as acrobatics, never once losing her balance or her ball.

 

The redhead does not know for how long she stays with her mouth slightly open, but when two feet finally touch the grown it takes the loud applause from the crowd to pull her out of her trance.

 

She quickly joins the crowd, standing up and clapping as loud as she can while her cousin tries to hit the ground with his feet to make more noise.

 

The acrobat bows a few times, the grin never leaving her face. When she eventually straightens again Chloe's breath gets caught in her throat as two clear blue orbs find hers . She can't tell if she is dreaming or if Beca is really looking straight at her.

 

She thinks she sees surprise invading the older girl's pupils for a second before her stage face is back. With what Chloe thinks is a wink in her direction Beca turns around and disappears behind the drape to let the following artist enter the circus ring, allowing Chloe to breathe again.

 

Chloe does not really register the end of the show, old memories playing in her mind as well as Beca's number. It is her cousin's voice that shakes her out of her thoughts when the light comes back on.

 

"Did you like the circus?" he gently asks, putting his coat to go out.

 

"Yes, what about you?" she asks distractedly in return taking the boy's hand to lead him out of the tent.

 

"I loved it!"

 

Still troubled by what happened, v tunes out his voice as he proceeds to tell her everything he liked in every number. When they manage to go outside he tugs on her sleeve, making her look down at his pleading eyes.

 

"Can I get popcorn?"

 

"No I'm sorry buddy, it's almost time for dinner and I'm not sure your parents will be happy if you eat something this late," she smiles apologetically at him. When she feels another tug on her other sleeve she rolls her eyes, mentally preparing for her best mom voice. "I said no Cha- oh!"

Expecting her cousin she is greeted by two bright blue eyes and a shy smile instead.

 

"Hi," a lazy voice she didn't know she had missed makes her way to her ears and she can't help but smile back.

 

"Hey," she breathes, taking in how much the girl in front of her has changed.

 

She is taller than Beca now, her own blue eyes slightly looking down at hers instead of facing them.  Her face has lost the distinguishing features of childhood, her cheeks thinner and her eyes wiser. The makeup she wore for her number is still on, aging her a bit more too and making her lips glimmer under the sunlight.

 

To Chloe relief she still has the same weird habit of restraining herself from smiling too big and kindness and playfulness still swim behind her light blue irises.

 

"I missed you for the past three years..." Beca breaks the silence in a murmur, studying Chloe as closely as Chloe is looking at her.

 

"I'm sorry..." Chloe fidgets, biting her lip in guilt. "I actually had reasons for not coming but it doesn't change the fact that I told you I would be there and I wasn't."

 

"It's okay," Beca shrugs with a small smirk, not failing to make Chloe's heart rate pick up slightly. "You're here today, it's all that really matters to me."

 

Chloe gets lost in the blue pools of adoration looking right back at her and it takes a little squeeze of her hand to make her come back on earth.

 

"Oh, this is my little cousin Charlie," she introduces the boy who seems star struck. "Lee, this is Beca."

 

"Hey buddy," Beca kneels to face the boy, awkwardly offering her hand for him to shake.

 

Chloe's cousin silently shakes her hand, his mouth slightly open and his eyes wide, making Beca and Chloe chuckle.

 

"I think he's a little impressed by you, that's why he's shy," Chloe explains as she ruffles the boy's hair. "I don't blame him, your number was pretty impressive."

 

A small satisfied smile makes its way on Chloe's lips when she sees a light blush appearing on Beca's cheeks as she scratches the back of her neck nervously.

 

"Thanks," she mumbles shyly.

 

"It showed that you worked hard to get here. It's really great Beca. I bet your family is really proud of you."

 

"My sister taught me everything I know," Beca shrugs, avoiding eye contact.

 

"Come on, don't be modest. Just take the compliment, I mean it," Chloe smiles gently when Beca finally looks at her again.

 

"Thank you Chloe," the blue-eyed teenager smiles back.

 

Chloe opens her mouth to continue their conversation when her phone buzzes in her pocket. With an apologetic look to Beca she checks her notifications, disappointment flashing in her eyes as she reads her texts.

 

"It's Lee's parents, they're on their way back," she explains. "I have to take this little guy  back to his house."

 

"I understand," Beca nods, a small hint of sadness in her voice. "Well,  I'm happy I could catch you even for a few minutes."

 

"I'm really happy you did too," Chloe replies, not thinking twice before opening her arms for Beca to hug her.

 

Their embrace is short but Chloe already wishes she could hug Beca every day.

 

"Here," she says when they separate, taking her phone out again. "Put your number in. I'll text you, that way you can warn me when you're back in town."

 

Beca takes her phone with a happy glint in her eyes and quickly types her name and number in before giving it back to Chloe who is smiling as widely as she can.

 

"Say bye buddy," Chloe says, picking up her little cousin who simply waves before burying his face in Chloe's neck .

 

"I hope I'll see you next year dude," Beca says, but Chloe picks up the real question implied as blue brown orbs look directly at her.

 

"I'm sure we'll come back," Chloe winks before starting to walk away slowly. "So... I'll talk to you later?" she asks, walking backward.

 

"You better," Beca deadpans.

 

They smile at each other one last time before Chloe turns around to take her cousin home.

 

She grins like an idiot for the whole ride.

 

*

 

Beca collapses on her bed with a sight of contentment later that night. She hears Stacie enters their shared trailer a few minutes later.

 

"We're hitting the road at 7 tomorrow morning," she tells Beca as she sits on her friend's bed, only getting a groan as a response. "You did great today dude, I loved the new tricks you added."

 

"Thanks Stace," Beca says as she checks her phone which has just buzzed.

 

A smile immediately splits her lips as she reads her text. Noticing her friend's grin Stacie's curiosity kicks in.

 

"Who is it?"

 

"Someone who also liked the number," Beca simply answers, rereading the text and smiling even bigger.

 

**_So... Where did you learn how to juggle a ball like this? Spill you secrets I'm listening._ **

 

*********

**17 years old**

 

They text everyday for the entire year.

 

At first it's just a couple of texts during the day. Beca talking about something funny that happened during a number or Chloe complaining about a assignment that she has to finish for the next day or asking how the dogs are going.

 

So it starts gradually, step after step. And, without really realizing how it happened, the first thing Chloe does when she wakes up is sending a 'good morning' text to Beca and the last thing she sees before falling asleep is a 'good night' text from the blue-eyed girl.

 

A few months after their text conversation began Beca calls her. She doesn't have anything important to say, "I just wanted to hear your voice I guess" she says and Chloe's stomach does something weird that makes her wonder  if she's suddenly getting sick.

 

After that they call each other every week, and then every couple of days. Until it's not enough and Beca asks if they can Skype because "I really want to see you". Chloe is getting really concerned about the weird things her stomach is doing.

 

They call each other on Skype every Sunday. No matter how much homework Chloe has, or how long practice is taking for Beca, they find a moment. It can be early in the morning or in the middle of lunch with their families (Chloe really got in trouble that time she got caught. Apparently the bathroom wasn't the best place to hide). They always find a moment, even just a couple of minutes is enough.

 

However Chloe's favorite is when they call each other late at night. When she has to stifle her laugh in her pillow to be sure her parents won't hear her, when Beca is whispering softly in the microphone of her headphones because Stacie is sleeping and she doesn't want to wake her, when they get really tired but don't want to hang up and eventually fall asleep with their laptops open (Chloe loves when Beca is the first one asleep because it means that she gets to fall asleep to Beca's soft breathing and cute mumbling). It also means that Chloe gets to wake up to Beca's soft raspy morning voice calling for her or to Beca's peaceful face, still sleeping soundly.

 

Somewhere  and somehow during all those text conversations, phone calls and Skype calls Beca becomes her best friend. When she voices it during one of their late night calls Beca's pixelated tired smile appears on her screen and she knows that something weird is going to happen in her stomach before it actually happens.

 

"You're my best friend too Chloe," Beca responds in a soft breath and the weird feeling in her stomach spreads into every part of her body making her cheeks blush.

 

Chloe is really concerned about her health.

 

*

 

"I don't know, Barden has always been my first choice but now I'm just lost."

 

"It's alright Chloe, you've still got time to decide. You have plenty of options! I know it's a lot to take in, but plenty of options is way better than no options at all, don't you think? So take a deep breath and don't stress about it. You'll make the right choice when the time comes."

 

Somehow Beca's soothing voice makes her panicking brain settle down and the weight on her shoulders feels like it has been lifted.

 

"You're right..." She breathes, chuckling when Beca winks at the camera.

 

"Aren't I always?" She deadpans.

 

"Sometimes I wonder why you're my friend," Chloe pretends to be annoyed, rolling her eyes at Beca's comment.

 

"You love me babe, stop trying to deny it," Beca does a kissy face to the camera, chuckling when Chloe's soft laugh rings in her headphones.

 

They have already used the pet name jokingly, but this time hearing it makes the weird feeling come back in Chloe's stomach and she quickly changes the subject.

 

"And what about you? Have you thought about it more?" Chloe asks, watching as Beca becomes serious again.

 

"Yeah... I talked with my parents. They are being really understanding, they'll support me whether I choose to go to college or stay with the circus."

 

"That's great news Becs, I told you they wouldn't be mad if you told them you might have to stop your number for a few years. It's for college Beca, it's not like you're telling them you want to quit forever."

 

"I know, I just feel like I'm letting them down if I go away," Beca whispers, looking down at her fidgeting fingers.

 

"I'm sure they don't think like that. They're probably really proud of you for wanting to keep studying even though you have a secure job at the circus."

 

"I told my dad that I'll probably study something related to business and management to help him with the circus and all the paperwork and law stuff. He was really excited," Beca chuckles at the memory.

 

"I'm so happy for you. I know you haven't decided yet if you really want to do it or not, but I'm really glad you're considering it," Chloe breathes, a genuine feeling of pride blossoming in her stomach and throat.

 

"Thanks for saying that Chloe," Beca smiles softy, and even through the pixels Chloe drowns for a second in the two pools of love in her eyes. "Actually there's something else as well..."

 

With that the moment is gone and Chloe frowns in confusion.

 

"What?"

 

"Someone approached me. A coach. He saw my number and came backstage at the end of the show. Apparently they are looking for a creative player in his team. He saw my footwork and he thinks that I can be this player. And he's willing to take a big risk and offer me a scholarship, even though I haven't played in a team since I was 6," Beca explains, fidgeting even more furiously than before, her eyes never leaving Chloe's face.

 

It takes a hot second for the information to process.

 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Chloe bursts loudly, covering her mouth the very next second waiting to hear if her parents heard her. "Are you fucking kidding me?" she repeats more softly this time.

 

"I don't think I've ever heard you say 'fuck' and honestly it's kinda hurting me," Beca squints her eyes, trying to figure if she's heard Chloe curse before.

 

"Beca! That's so exciting! Why didn't you tell me before?"

 

"It happened a few days ago," Beca shrugs. "I wanted to surprise you I guess, and see your reaction."

 

"Wow, I'm so happy for you Becs. A scholarship? That's crazy!" Chloe still can't believe it. "If someone deserves it it's you. You have worked so hard on your studies, even with all of you practices, the shows and always being on the road. You deserve it more than anyone." Chloe hears her voice tremble and she realizes that she's getting emotional. So she stops talking, pretending that her keyboard is more interesting than Beca's face.

 

"Chloe..." Beca breathes.

 

"Anyway, what college team would it be?" Chloe cuts her, not wanting the weird feeling to come back in her stomach.

 

"Oh!" Beca shakes her head, surprised by the change of tone in the conversation. Her smirk is back soon enough and Chloe is grateful that she's not questioning what just happened. "Well nothing is official yet. The coach still has to talk with his staff and everything. So let's not get too excited just yet..."

 

"Come on Beca, just tell me already," Chloe rolls her eyes once more, knowing that Beca is just trying to make her lose her patience.

 

"Alright, you should sit down for that."

 

"I'm literally laying down on my bed Becs..."

 

"I know, come on sit down!" Beca urges, a devil smile on her lips.

 

"You are so annoying..." Chloe sighs but sits down nonetheless  knowing that Beca will not say anything until she does so. Beca laughs at Chloe's annoyed face and claps at her victory making Chloe smile against her own will. "Alright alright, so tell me. Where is this guy coaching?"

 

"You won't believe it," Beca grins bigger than Chloe has ever seen her do (and that's saying something).

 

"Just tell me already," Chloe whines.

 

"Barden."

 

"Fuck."

 

*

 

"I can't believe I'm seeing you in a week."

 

"You're seeing me right now," Beca jokes, but her eyes tell a different story.

 

"You know what I mean idiot," Chloe sighs, her eyelids becoming heavier with the seconds as she starts to slip into slumber.

 

"Yeah," comes a whisper as Chloe's eyes close. "I do."

 

*

 

Chloe is crying.

 

Her soft sobs drown into her own happy laughter and Beca's soft neck.

 

"I can't believe you're really here," she whispers into the skin.

 

A small kiss is pressed on side  of her head just before Beca steps away a little. Just enough to be able to gaze into Chloe's eyes without separating their bodies.

 

She brings one hand to Chloe's cheek, brushing the few happy tears away with her thumbs while her own watery eyes look at every detail of Chloe's face.

 

The redhead weirdly doesn't feel uncomfortable at all by the staring. Firstly because it reminds her of the first time she met Beca all of those years ago. When back then a strange little girl was staring at her without an ounce of shame showing on her face. Secondly because she's doing the same. Looking at Beca like it's the first time she's really seeing her. Taking in every detail from the shape of her eyes to the smallest mole near her lips.

 

Chloe doesn't know for how long they stay like this, looking at each other while their hands grasp at each other's shirts and skin.

 

It's Beca's voice that breaks the silence after what could be a year or a second, saying exactly what Chloe has been thinking all along.

 

"You're so much more beautiful than on my computer screen."

 

*

 

"Stacie has been staying at Cynthia's trailer lately. You know, the juggler? You've met her this morning?"

 

"Yeah, she's really nice. Are they together?" Chloe asks, watching as Beca put their plates down in the sink leaning on the counter nonchalantly  afterward to face Chloe.

 

"I think so... I don't really want to ask though. I think it's a bit complicated. So I'm giving Stace some space, she'll talk to me she's ready," Beca explains with a shrug and Chloe nods drinking the last of her water. "Anyway, she won't be her tonight so if you want to take her bed feel free."

 

"Oh," Chloe murmurs, surprising herself when disappointment clearly colors her voice.

 

Today has been perfect for Chloe.

 

 She met with Beca at the crack of dawn, just when the circus was starting to settle down in the city. And they didn't left each other sides for the all day.

 

Beca showed her around, introducing Chloe to her friends and family, showing her everything backstage. During Beca's daily practice Chloe sat and watched in awe as the blue-eyed girl did trick after trick, never losing her balance or losing the ball. Beca convinced the redhead to try and walk on the rope at the end of her practice (it didn't take much for Chloe to cave at Beca's pleading puppy eyes). After a few tries Chloe managed to walk halfway without any help before falling ungracefully into the safety net. She should have felt embarrassed when Beca burst out laughing, but she knew that the girl would never make fun of her with malice, and so she bowed down at her audience who started clapping furiously, seeing nothing but pride in Beca's blue eyes.

 

Chloe stayed backstage during the whole show, mesmerized by how quickly everything had to be done before a number and the amount of work every employee was doing behind the curtain.

 

She loved watching Beca in her world. How she was helping everyone get ready, how ten minutes before her number she stepped away and closed her eyes to try and focus, how determined her eyes were right before she stepped on the stage, how tired but satisfied she looked when she stepped out, and how she managed to check on Chloe every few minutes in the middle of all this madness.

 

It's when  she realizes that Beca is looking for her as soon as she steps out of the stage, blue eyes eventually finding hers, and when she sees the shift in her light irises when their eyes meet that Chloe stops fighting the feeling in her stomach and starts embracing it.

 

When the show is done and Beca's friends quickly dismissed her, saying that they can take care of cleaning everything up and that she deserves a night off with her friend (Chloe catches Stacie's wink toward Beca and the light redness it causes at the base of Beca's neck), Beca brings Chloe to her trailer. The tour is quick enough, but Chloe loves it. She loves being surrounded by Beca and her world.

 

While Beca is cooking a quick pasta meal, Chloe realizes that their time together is almost over, and she gets choked up. She knows that they are supposed to be together in Barden in a few months, but it seems to be a life time away. However, like she's reading her thought, Beca offers her to stay the night so they can spend as much time together before she has to leave once more. And with the suggestion Chloe breathes normally again, knowing that they still have a few hours.

 

However her breath gets caught in her throat again when Beca says she can take Stacie's bed.

 

Chloe hadn't realized it, but she'd assumed that they were going to share a bed.

 

"Oh."

 

It's crazy how Beca seems to read her like an open book.

 

"I mean we can share mine! I just didn't know if you'd be comfortable with that," she says quietly, playing with the aim of her shirt.

 

"I am," Chloe answers way to eagerly, and she sees Beca bite her lip to stop herself from laughing. "Stop it dumbass, I just don't want to be away from you today. That's all we'll get before a long time," she shrugs, her cheeks still a bit red after her outburst.

 

"Yeah, I feel the same," Beca admits in a whisper, sitting next to Chloe and wrapping her arm around her. Chloe presses her forehead into Beca's neck, feeling it vibrate with the next sentence. "Shall we then?"

 

*

 

"Shit, it's almost four already..." Beca rasps.

 

"Shhh..." Chloe whispers in the crook of her neck.

 

They've been talking about everything and anything for several hours. Their limbs and bodies intertwining at some point without them really realizing it or commenting on it.

 

"Maybe we should get some sleep... You're supposed to go to school tomorrow," Beca breathes in Chloe's hair.

 

"And you're supposed to do your number tomorrow," Chloe retorts, biting Beca's shoulder jokingly.

 

"Ouch!" Beca pretends to be offended, pushing Chloe away from her body. "I'm used to get little sleep you're not. I'm concerned about your well being  and all I get for that is a mark of your teeth?" Beca says, faking indignation as she keeps Chloe from snuggling her again.

 

"Becs..." Chloe whines, trying to get Beca to stop.  "I'm sorry..." she tries again as Beca brushes her hands away.

 

Beca suddenly turns around, her back facing Chloe.

 

The redhead rolls her eyes at her friend's childish behavior, yet a smile makes its way on her lips as she knows Beca is just playing with her and her patience once again.

 

"Come on Becs..." She says, sliding closer.

 

She tries to sneak one arm around the girl's firm torso only to be pushed away one more time. However, when she tries again, this time she intertwines her fingers with Beca as the girl tries to push her away. She feels Beca stiffens for a short second probably taken aback by that move, but the blue-eyed girl quickly relaxes against Chloe's palm and the redhead knows that she's won.

 

So she slides even closer, digging her chin into the crook of Beca's neck, her lips brushing against the smaller girl's ear.

 

"Will you forgive me?"

 

Chloe feels the shiver travelling down Beca's body, the other girl's back arching almost imperceptibly against Chloe's front. It takes a moment for Chloe to realize what happened. And when she does she almost moans in Beca's ear, her fingers squeezing Beca's hand a little harder.

 

Beca gulps audibly and Chloe can feel the atmosphere getting heavier with each second that goes by.

 

Seeing that Beca doesn't seem like she will make a move for a while, Chloe can't take it anymore and brushes the beginning of Beca's jaw line with her lips as she whispers:

 

"Am I?"

 

Beca's physical respond is immediate. Her hips buckle and her ass is pushed against Chloe's front.

 

Once again, nobody moves for a few seconds. Their heavy breathings  the only things breaking the now tense silence.

 

However, very slowly, so slow that Chloe almost misses it at first, Beca start to grind back into Chloe.

 

When she feels it Chloe swallows back a loud moan, afraid that she might break the moment. Instead she slips her fingers out of Beca's hand and gently lifts the other girl's shirt up. With a shaky breath, she spreads her fingers at the bottom of Beca's stomach, the tip of her middle finger dipping under the elastic of Beca's sleeping shirt. When Beca doesn't push her hand away, Chloe starts to follow her grinding, slightly pushing Beca's stomach to encourage her to rock harder.

 

It feels amazing, having Beca pressed against her, rocking against her, feeling the slightest sweat on Beca's skin, hearing Beca's breaths getting shorter and heavier with each movement.

 

Chloe loses herself in the moment, eyes fluttering close as her lips press against the back of Beca's neck. She feels Beca shiver again, and this time she prolongs it as her nails gently scratch Beca's stomach.

 

Beca's hand is back on hers, making Chloe open her eyes to check if Beca wants them to stop. However her eyes flutter close again when she realizes that Beca is guiding her hand under her sleeping shorts.

 

Chloe words are stuck in her throats, a strangled moan the only sound getting out as Beca guides her closer to what she is craving to touch. When her fingers finally reach out to feel how wet Beca is, her words are set free.

 

"Fuck, you're so wet."

 

Her words must trigger something  because in a flash Beca is on top of her in between her parted legs, faces so close that Chloe can feel their breaths collide.

 

"I really _really_ want to kiss you," Beca murmurs, eyes staring at Chloe's lips. "I've wanted to for a long time now."

 

In lieu of and answer Chloe gently wraps her hand around Beca's neck and leans in to brush their lips together.

 

It's soft and short and almost prudish compared to what they were doing seconds ago. But it's theirs and Chloe loves that. She loves how Beca grins down at her, her eyes glowing with the glint of love she's seen so many times when seconds before they were drowning in lust. Chloe chuckles as well, her hand sliding up from Beca's neck to brush some of the dark brown baby hair off of Beca's forehead.

 

Beca leans down again and this time their lips meet for a few seconds, softly moving in synch and Chloe wonders why they haven't been doing that all day.

 

When Beca's tongue gently traces her lips Chloe's hips buckle up to meet Beca's and both girls moan into each other's mouths.

 

"Do you want to slow down?" Beca rasps in Chloe's ear, making her hips buckle again. "I'll take that as a no," Beca chuckles, checking Chloe's eyes nonetheless  to be sure she's not reading the situation wrong. When she sees nothing but lust and need in blue eyes she leans in again, nibbling at Chloe's neck like she was born to do it.

 

"Do you want to slow down?" Chloe manages to ask as Beca's fingers slide down her stomach, making every hair on her body stand up.

 

Beca stops her movement once she's cupping the redhead under her panties and has Chloe grinding against her hand desperately.

 

"I only have you for tonight love," she whispers, admiring as Chloe squirms beneath her. "So no, I don't want to either."

 

With that she enters Chloe with her middle finger deliciously slow, her hips grinding down to push even deeper, her breath collapsing against Chloe's collarbone before pressing a gentle kiss on burning hot skin.

 

It is then, with her middle finger deep inside Chloe, with the redhead's legs wrapped around her hips, with long fingers grasping at her back, that Beca decides to whisper:

 

"I think I'm in love with you".

 

*

 

The sun has been up for a couple of minutes now. Beca is expecting Stacie to come banging at the door anytime. But there is nothing in the world that could make her move right now.

 

Chloe is still lazily kissing her neck and face, humming every few seconds when she feels Beca rock against her hand as two of her fingers are still buried deep inside the blue-eyed girl.

 

"I think making you come is my new favorite thing to do," Chloe mumbles against one of Beca's breast before taking the nipple in a mouth.

 

"Well no complains here," Beca chuckles before whining when the vibrations of her laugh make Chloe's fingers hit what must be a good spot inside her. "I'm not sure I can go again though... I might need to rest for a bit first," she wrinkles her nose and chuckles again when Chloe kisses the tip of it.

 

"I know, I don't think I can either," Chloe breathes. "But I can't wait to be in Barden together in a few months. We'll be able to do that every day."

 

Beca's eyes fly open, and she's relieved that Chloe's face is buried in her neck so she could not catch the panic on her face.

 

"Are you okay? Your heart is beating really fast all of the sudden."

 

Damn it.

 

"Chloe I have something to tell you..." Beca begins carefully.

 

Sitting down she grabs a shirt and puts on her shorts, trying not to cringe when v whimpers as their bodies detach.

 

"Shall I be worried?" Chloe frowns, obviously confused by the change in Beca's voice and behavior. "By the way that's my shirt. Looks good on you though" she winks and Beca has to take a second to remember what she was doing in the first place. "What's up babe? You look like you're about to throw up."

 

"I might not go to Barden."

 

The silence that follows her sentence is so loud her ears start to buzz.

 

"Pardon?"

 

She hates how broken Chloe sounds, hates it so much that she can't bear to look at her.

 

"I might not go to Barden," she repeats in a whispers, and when Chloe doesn't say anything she continues. "I know that I told you I was, but I'm not sure anymore. Jessica severely broke her leg so we're down a number. And like I told you my sister is pregnant, so soon we'll be down two numbers for at least a few months. They are rumors that Jesse might go with another circus and leave us. If I go as well the circus will be down three or maybe four numbers and I don't know if it will be able to survive that. My parents told me that it's fine and that I shouldn't worry about that. But I've heard them talk when they think they're alone. We're having money problems, and they don't know for how long we can keep going. If we keep losing numbers we might not attract as many people. That means even less money and... and well it's over for everyone. I can't let them down. I just can't."

 

Beca doesn't know when she started crying, but after a while Chloe is on her feet and brushing the tears away.

 

"And now I'm letting you down as well," Beca sobs softly in Chloe's embrace.

 

"You're not," Chloe whispers in her ear before stepping back to look at her. "It's your life Becs, you're making the important decisions."

 

"You're not mad?" Beca whispers lamely, feeling like a scared five years old. She's just afraid she might lose Chloe, and that frightens her more than anything.

 

"I'm not going to lie, I'm a little disappointed that you didn't tell me anything before. You know you can trust me with everything. So I'm a little hurt that you didn't trust me with these doubts..."

 

"I was just so afraid that you'd get mad and never talk to me again. That you'd think I was lying when I told you I was going to Barden."

 

"I know you would never lie to me Becs," Chloe squeezes her hips gently, pressing a small kiss on her lips, and Beca feels like she can breathe again.

 

"I'm sorry," Beca says against Chloe lips, and with another kiss Chloe makes her understand that she's forgiven.

 

*

Beca watches as Chloe gathers her things, her friend Aubrey already waiting for her at the gate to go to school. Chloe throws Beca's shirt over her head with a wink and Beca doesn't think her shirt has never looked as good.

 

"I have to tell you something," Chloe says once she's done getting ready, sitting down next to Beca.

 

"I thought we were done with the heavy stuff..." Beca jokes in a whisper, smirking when Christen gently punches her shoulder.

 

"It's just that I've been thinking. And obviously we really like each other," she begins.

 

"Well, I love you yeah," Beca says without hesitation, smiling softly when Chloe's cheeks redden.

 

"Yeah yeah yeah... Semantics," Chloe rolls her eyes, not used to hear those words. "Anyway, today was great an I wish it could stay like that forever. I wish I could stay with you forever. But I don't think I can do the long distance thing," Chloe admits, looking down at her hands. "And I'm not saying that to make you come to Barden or whatever. Like I said it's your decision and I would never force you to do something you don't want to. It's actually selfish, because I don't think I'll be able to do it. It was already so hard when we were just friends, so I can't imagined what it would be if we were in a relationship..."

 

Beca takes a second to try and process everything, taking Chloe's hand in hers as she starts playing nervously with her fingers.

 

"I'm not sure I understand..."

 

"What I'm saying is... I think we should just stay friends while we're away from each other. Because it would hurt too much to be far away from you knowing what it feels like to have you. But I'll wait for you, for as long as it takes. I'll wait. Because I know that sooner or later we'll be together. I don't care how long it takes, or what it takes. So yeah, I'm willing to wait, and I think it's the best thing to do."

 

"Okay," is all Beca says. "We'll wait."

 

With that Chloe stands up, leaning for a soft kiss before heading to the door.

 

"Oh by the way Becs," Chloe grins, making Beca forgets about everything else but this moment. "I think I'm in love with you too."

 

Her trailer door is closed and she's left wondering when they will see each other again.

 

****

**18 years old**

 

Chloe is wandering freely on the campus. She's been here for a few days and she already feels at home.

 

Her roommate, Ashley, is one of the sweetest people she's met and they are becoming fast friends. Most of the neighbors she's seen in the corridors seem nice and polite, and she guesses that with Aubrey as a supervisor they won't have a lot of troubles on their floor.

 

Classes start tomorrow and she's enjoying her last day of freedom.

 

She spots people gathering around on the grass and decides to check what the fuzz is about.

 

A guy is walking on rope tied between two trees, while everyone is clapping and cheering for the acrobat Chloe's first reflex is to take out her phone.

 

_**This guy could take your job... You better up your game Mitchell** _

 

The past few months have been hard for them. Chloe never asked about Barden again, letting Beca make her choice. And when Beca didn't bring the subject on the table either she understood that Beca was choosing her family and postponing her college days. So it's been hard, but they've managed to keep their friendship intact and even though it is not what it once was, Chloe wouldn't change it for the world.

 

So maybe she catches Beca looking longingly at her, maybe they always end their calls with an "I love you", maybe she drunk texted Beca suggesting that they could try phone sex (she's so grateful that Beca only laughed about it the next day and didn't embarrass her any further), maybe she gets a little jealous when Beca starts talking about the new girl joining the crew, maybe she notices how Beca almost rolls her eyes every time she mentions her ex, maybe she wishes more than anything that Beca was here with her. But for now it's all that they have, and Chloe is determined to make it work.

 

Chloe pockets her phone and focuses back on the acrobat. His tricks are good but not as good as some she's seen Beca do. However after a few tricks Chloe is surprised by one that looks particularly hard to executes.

 

"That was sick..." she whispers to herself.

 

A gentle tap on her shoulder and a light cough make her jump slightly and turn around. Suddenly she drowns herself in the familiar light blue pools looking right back at her and even after all these months her stomach does that weird thing again.

 

A whisper and a smirk take her back to all those years ago and the hair on her arms rise as a warm hand grabs her.

 

"I can do it better."

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
